This week has brought about different fast moving ordeals for me and I’ve been struck with the writer’s block ( no inspiration, no new thoughts or morale whatsover). So on this blog I’m going to write down my random thoughts ( maybe meaningless and of no use to any of you, but will make me happy and fulfilled anyway ).

I think of my cat’s soft fur and how much I love her and the kittens. It’s fascinating how they go about their lives without any complications or thoughts like we humans do. The only thing that they probably think of is food, naps and a cuddle. Deep down, Cats have always given me a sense of home; I always need one around me to feel everything will somehow be okay, listen to music as i stroke the cat’s fur, empty my mind with the sound of their purring and when i sleep, I like to feel their little paws moving about trying to find a comfortable place to sleep.

I still think of lost love,broken hearts and friendships.

I love the idea of souls touching, two people meant for each other from the very start, not having to worry about lonileness cause you’re assured of someone… I listen to alot of Ed Sheeran and soul music, so beautiful that sometimes it brings tears to my eyes. I also can’t stop thinking of kygo’s Raging.

My thoughts are always saying sorry

For the broken heart.
For the lonely heart.
For the tired heart.
For the bleeding heart.
For the suffering heart.

I think about Sophie Turner alot. How beautiful she is on the outside and the amazing person she appears to be on the inside as well. I’d like to be friends with her one day, which is near as impossible because we are both from different worlds ( sigh ).

I think about the books I love: The bleeding heart by Marilyn French,Dolores and Victor and their complicated love affair. She was a single mother, broken and deep and he was a married man, broken and deep. They both saw the invisible lines on each other’s faces and understood each other’s depth. I also think of Jane lambert, from ken Follett’s Lying down with lions, and her attraction to men with a mysterious vibe. Jane, always thinking she could change the men. Oscar Schell, from Jonathan Safran‘s Extremely loud and incredibly close; Young and depressed, Oscar tries to find his father but ends up finding more. Oscar’s grandfather who’d lost his ability to talk, who’d dared to make the mistake of being certain of the future and who never truly held onto the important things. Then there is Deirdre, from Witching hour ( A very old friend of mine whom we grew distant, loved the book very much, and it’s hard thinking of the book without thinking of him too), i liked her most to all the Mayfair witches. Then there is Camille Preaker, from Gillian Flynn’s Sharp objects, who was depressed after her sister’s death and spent time in a psychiatric hospital because of self harm. And Libby Day, from Gillian Flynn’s Dark places, the sole survivor of a massacre. Libby depressed for years and afraid of darkness. I think I love those books best because all those characters could easily be me.

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